Letting Go and My Challenge, Week 9

 

I took on a challenge for 2011.  I want to learn to give service to others patiently, putting

                                       Beham, (Hans) Sebald (1500-1550): Pacientia - ...

 the other person first and learning humility.  I began in January, and so far I feel I have made very little progress.

My pride seems to be what gets in the way.  Things need to be done my way, at the time I choose, in the way I deem correct.  When I decided to take on this challenge, I had a sense that it would be hard for me, so I’m not dismayed that yes, I am finding this very difficult.  Sometimes I am right there being helpful, but get me tired or anxious and I seem to default immediately to being abrupt, coercive, or at least impatient.

Again and again I have failed to include this issue in my prayers.  Thinking and praying about it last night, I realized that I must be convinced, at some deep level, that I can do this on my own.  That is what I need to give up.  Pride is keeping me from really bringing this before God.  And not only do I need to bring it before him, I need to turn it over to him.

Sin is so much a part of us, but we know, we KNOW that he is waiting for us to give him our selves so that we may be redeemed.

When I began this blog, I named it Learning to Let Go, because I knew there were many things I was being called to let go of.  At this point, I’m seeing that the most important thing to let go is the illusion of being in control.  God is, I am not.  I’m going to have to remind myself of that every morning and every night.

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2 Responses to Letting Go and My Challenge, Week 9

  1. Bobbie Rae says:

    This is almost exactly the conclusion I came to as I left Ash Wednesday service this evening. Why have I been feeling so hostile, so paranoid, so abused? Because I, too, had set several worthy but in depth goals for this year and my progress was squat. But why do I harbor resentment about it – cause it is easier than giving up my PRIDE by saying to God, I need You every minute of every day. Thanks for this post. Blessings.

  2. bookgetaway says:

    Thanks for your comment! Pride is so hard to conquer, but if we don’t try, we’ll never get anywhere. Needing Him, every minute of every day. A good reminder.

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